should we call it Marvney? or Disnel?

No one knows just how the Marvel-Disney merger (we're calling it that rather than "assimilation") will change our beloved comics, but we've got a few guesses. Here are the top ten:

10. Tony Stark reveals to Jack Sparrow where all the rum has gone.

9. MAX unveils Who Punished Roger Rabbit?, a charming buddy comedy in which Frank Castle's new partner teaches him to kill 'em with kindness.

8. Casual Friday introduced to Marvel bullpen so the editors can leave off the mouse ears once a week.

7. Scrooge McDuck goes swimming in Norman Osborn's money.

6. The official battle cry becomes, "A-V-E-N-G-E-R-S A-S-S-E-M-B-L-E."

5. Spokespeople deny rumors that Stan Lee has been cryogenically frozen. Mr. Lee is unavailable for comment.

4. New animatronic children in the "It's a Small World After All" feature fur, steel skin, and telekinesis.

3. Rictor and Shatterstar are introduced to Exodus International.

2. Tobey Maguire is replaced with Zac Efron in Spider-Man 4. Critics rave.

1. Wolverine becomes a member of Goof Troop, Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers, and the Disney Princesses

- JC & RD

[Yes, we know Sony still owns the rights to Spider-Man, but we like Zac Efron. Shutup. - RD]

[JC adds, "Tell them he was in Firefly!" - RD]

Mighty Avengers: Secret Invasion

Mighty Avengers: Secret Invasion Book 2 (Brian Michael Bendis) collects issues #16-20 of Mighty Avengers, five single-issue stories each serving to illuminate a character or situation from Secret Invasion.

It's an uneven collection. Three of the stories are quick character sketches, heavy on swordfights or explosions but light on plot. One issue shows how Elektra was captured by the Skrulls and her doppleganger took control of the Hand ninja clan. Two very similar issues depict Skrull sleeper agents becoming overly influenced by the personalities they're attempting to replicate, and ultimately getting cut down by their own kind. Reading these vignettes, one can't help but wonder if Bendis stretched himself just a little too thin between the main Secret Invasion mini, his pair of Avengers titles (and the Dark in development), Powers, etc. There are some fascinating moments here, and snatches of typically Bendis dialogue (which I love), but they read a little like official Secret Invasion fanfic. They're drabbles.

The Nick Fury issue is stronger, another preview story for the new Secret Warriors. We learn what it's like to be a super-powered teenager in training with the world's oldest, grumpiest master spy. It made me wish that the actual Secret Warriors book was written this tightly and hope that it will be, once Jonathan Hickman has a little more time to settle into the concept.

But it's the final story that makes the whole book worth the price of admission. Hank Pym (a.k.a. Ant Man a.k.a. Giant Man a.k.a. Goliath a.k.a. Yellowjacket, soon to be the new Wasp [MPD much? - RD]) returns from Skrull captivity to face a radically new Marvel universe. He wasn't there for House of M or Civil War or World War Hulk, and even the Secret Invasion was over when he finally stepped out of that Skrull spaceship.

His friends have turned on each other, torn the superhero community apart, and his wife (Janet Van Dyne, the Wasp) is dead. Of course it's at the funeral that he finally breaks down, lashes out inevitably and inappropriately. His grief, coupled with the way in which Thor steps in for his friend, quite literally put tears in my eyes. Granted, anyone who knows me will attest that's not entirely rare, but even so, it's an outstanding and moving story. Plus, we get to see Clint Barton drop the F-bomb (okay, technically the "*$#%!"-bomb) on Norman Osborn in a church. What's not to love about that?

- JC

Fantastic Four: Dark Reign #1

In Fantastic Four: Dark Reign (Jonathan Hickman), Reed Richards builds a machine to travel to other realities to compare problem-solving techniques with his counterparts. It's a very cool idea, if not an entirely an original one. Mark Millar, during his run on Ultimate Fantastic Four, put Ultimate Reed Richards in contact with some of his alternate selves so they could work as a sort of uber-thinktank. But Millar's idea was merely a lead-in for his Ultimate FF vs. Marvel Zombies arc - in essence, just a macguffin to set up a big summer horror flick.

Here, Hickman gives the concept some real pathos. In the wake of the Skrull invasion, Reed looks back at all the recent tragedies that have rocked the Marvel Universe, like Secret Invasion, World War Hulk, Civil War, etc. He feels responsible some of these events, but more than that, he believes deeply that "every problem has a solution" and his interdimensional bridge is the way to find them. It gets at the core of Reed Richards, the intersection between the superhero and the scientist. And with all the inter-reality travel the Fantastic Four (not to mention other Marvel heroes) have engaged in over the years, it's a wonder it's taken 40+ years to see someone really tackle this story head on.

The remaining Fantastic Three are left without knowing how long Reed will be gone or what he'll be facing while he's away. And of course there are some shenanigans from Norman "I'm a Sane Protector of Babies and Apple Pie Now, Really" Osborn as Reed is heading out, 'cause what else happens on a Tuesday night in the Baxter Building?

(The comic didn't actually specify that it was a Tuesday. But it was in some reality, I'm sure. So there.)

- JC

Dark Avengers #1

In Dark Avengers, Brian Michael Bendis essentially reinvents the original Thunderbolts with a twist.

When Kurt Busiek created the Thunderbolts, they were a team of Marvel villains pretending to be a new team of heroes. It was meant to be a Cunning Plan, Pinky & the Brain style -- only many of the villains found, for right or wrong reasons, they actually liked being heroes and the way the public reacted to them in that role. In time, the team became a legitimate and U.S. government-sanctioned avenue for villains seeking to reform and do time in public service. Not to mention villains who'd just rather be out there kicking other bad guys' butts than rotting in prison.

Norman 'Green Goblin' Osborn became a Thunderbolt during the Civil War event, and soon after maneuvered his way into command of the entire Thunderbolt program. Now, in the wake of Secret Invasion, he's been put in charge of the H.A.M.M.E.R that was S.H.I.E.L.D, giving him oversight of not just the Thunderbolts, but the Avengers Initiative as well.

So here's the twist: Norman takes some of the most vicious killers currently serving as Thunderbolts and turns them into the official Avengers for the U.S. of A. He does this by giving them the identities of established heroes that the public already knows and loves. Moonstone is Ms. Marvel. Wolverine's unhinged son Daken stands in for his dad. Venom becomes the Amazing Spider-Man. Bullseye, the psychopath who murdered two women Daredevil loved, is now Hawkeye. Up is down and black is white.

There's a fantastic two-page spread where the new Avengers are introduced to the public, with a neat trick you can really only pull off on a comic book page. As the name of each ersatz hero is called out, we see it printed in the colorful logo used on the cover of the original hero's comic. It really drives home the identity theft, the stunt that Norman Osborn is pulling on the public.

Not only do we have the old Thunderbolts questions hanging over this team -- how many truly want to be heroes? How many will discover that want over time? Can they overcome their own pasts and darker instincts? -- but we also have to wonder how long it will take the citizens of Marvel America to realize these aren't the heroes they know and love, and how they'll react when they figure it out.

Of course, not every member of the team is a pretender. Ares and the Sentry, two former Mighty Avengers, have stayed with Osborn. Ares, the actual Roman God of War, doesn't really care who's telling him to fight or why, so long as there are battles to be fought. The Sentry is more or less Marvel's schizophrenic version of Superman, and it's hinted that Osborn is manipulating his fractured mental state in some way to keep him around. I hadn't thought about it before Bendis brought them together in this book, but really the Sentry and Osborn's Green Goblin are two sides of the same coin. Osborn has also displayed signs of a schizophrenic disorder, as well as a possible multiple personality; when he started out committing crimes as the Goblin, he supposedly didn't know he was doing it. If Osborn is at all stable or integrated now, he's achieved that mostly by giving in to his darker impulses. Can the Sentry resist such a role model? Let's hope so.

And then there's the Iron Patriot, the new amalgam of Captain America and Iron Man. I have to admit Bendis had me completely faked out on this one. After the end of New Avengers #48, I was expecting to see Luke Cage in that armor, betraying his own teammates to make good on his promise to pay Osborn any price for help in finding his kidnapped child. (For a moment or two, I even entertained the notion that the new Ms. Marvel might be Jessica Jones, stealing the sobriquet of her best friend as part of the same Faustian bargain.) But no -- the Patriot is Osborn himself, because anything Tony Stark can do, Osborn must now prove he can do better. How did I not see that coming?

Plot-wise, Dark Avengers #1 is the first twenty minutes or so of a two-hour TV pilot episode. We've got the players on the board, and hints of who they are and what they want. What happens next is the story, but so far the set-up is more than solid.

- JC