this would have had more impact 5 days ago

I went to the comic store after work on Wednesday to pick up The Wonderful Wizard of Oz #5 (Eric Shanower, who is pretty good, I guess, and SKOTTIE YOUNG, who is basically the best artist ever). JC didn't have anything in his file (for once), so it was me on my lonesome with my monkey-face change purse in an effort to avoid putting my one teeny issue on my debit card. I don't carry cash, for those of you stalking and/or planning to mug me on my way to the comic store next Wednesday.

So I waved to the comic store guy (who looks nothing like the one on The Simpsons), and I waved to the other customer, who just happened to have WWO #5 on top of the stack in his hand, and I went to the Great Wall O' Comics and looked through the W section (Wolverine, Wonder Woman, and WWO are pretty much it) to find - GASP - issues 2, 3, and 4, but no #5!

THEY HAD SOLD OUT. ON THE FIRST DAY.

I went up to the counter guy to ask if they had any more, and he said NO THEY DID NOT. BUT IF I WANTED THEY COULD CALL THE OTHER STORES AND ASK IF THEY HAD COPIES. I was all, but this is on my way home from work! If I go to another store, I'll have to make an extra trip and then I'm actually going out of my way to buy a comic and that's just TOO GEEKY FOR ME I'M SORRY. NOT EVEN FOR SKOTTIE YOUNG.

So I was telling the comic book guy and the other customer, "Well, fiance didn't have anything else in his file this week and I was being all self-sufficient and getting my own beautiful SKOTTIE YOUNG."

And the other customer said, "Gee, I wish my wife would do that! She made me add Wizard of Oz to my pull file so I'd get it for her."

So I said, "Oh, well sometimes I come by and buy my fiance's comics for him." And the customer and the comic guy went, "Oh!" as if to say, "You're clearly the perfect woman!" and I continued, "...so he does the dishes and laundry for me." And they both went, "Oh," as if to say, "Haha, that would never happen in our lives. Hm, possibly that is why our wives and/or girlfriends are not as perfect as you."

I still do not have WWO #5. However, I am two or three issues behind in JC's latest scripts (oops) so I shouldn't be reading such frivolous matter anyway. I think he keeps writing so fast to keep me from my SKOTTIE YOUNG. Because for some reason he is threatened by my love and devotion. OH SKOTTIE YOUNG YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. I don't know why.

- RD